Archive for May 10th, 2012

Bully for Romney

So now, we’re suppose to believe that Mitt Romney was a bully?  Conveniently, the Washington Post chooses to report the blockbuster story of a 1965 highschooler named Mitt Romney giving a gay classmate a haircut as an act of teenage terror on the day after Barack Obama earns his bona fides by declaring his support for gay marriage.  And within a couple of days of the death of Vidal Sassoon.

Only it turns out that the “classmate” reporting the story wasn’t there at the time – he heard it 2nd, 3rd, 5th-hand from the ghost of the posthumously-converted 5th wife of Romney great-grand uncle, or something.

So it turns out that they also didn’t know – or even suspect – that the practice head for this budding stylist was gay.  Next, we’ll find out that it wasn’t a haircut, or even a trim, but that Romney loaned him his razor.  Doesn’t that really sound more like the Romney that we know?

Remember, too, this was in an upper-class Michigan suburb.  Do you really believe that Mitt was conducting involuntary inductions into the Baldies from The Wanderers?  Personally, I had him pegged for a Ducky Boys sort of guy, but you never can tell about some people.

Then, hours later, we hear that Obama’s autobiography contains an account of his shoving a classmate named “Coretta” and making fun of a college classmate named Tim, for apparently being too much like Mitt.  I’m obviously not the first to suggest that “Coretta” is not a real person, but a composite character.  (I’m sure we won’t have to wait too long for someone to do a Life of Coretta, showing her being picked on by Barack at various stages of life, from having her block tower knocked over in kindergarten to the last one, featuring him mercilessly taunting her by withholding his signature for a life-saving, but uncovered, medical procedure.)

Coming on the heels of the dueling dog controversies, you would think that Axelrod is seriously beginning to regret Obama’s choice of autobiographer.

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